Remember, first, that you are ministering to a family. It helps to understand what single parents are going through in order to provide the individual care they need and will respond to in healthy ways.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO/KNOW FIRST …
§ Do suspend any judgment. Focus on the needs of the adult and child(ren)
§ A single parent must be treated with respect and integrity
§ A single parent has suffered loss—whether through death, desertion, separation or divorce. She/he will exhibit all the stages of grief: shock, anger, bargaining, acceptance, and—hopefully—forgiveness
§ There has been a break in their family structure
§ The non-custodial parent may be inaccessible
§ In most cases there is a sudden lack of financial support and a decline in financial security
§ In most cases there is a noticeable decline in the support of friends, family and church
§ The single parent faces chaos and change
§ The single parent faces fear of the future and worry about today
§ The single parent has great concern for the children’s needs: how they deal with change, fear, abandonment, reactions of friends and family. How they respond to visitation (normally) and, especially, if there is a history of violence/abuse or drugs/pornography by the non-custodial parent.
WHAT ARE YOUR OPTIONS FOR ACTION?
If you desire to be more sensitive in caring for a single parent or her/his child(ren), learn about the changes, above, that have taken place and the problems she or he is facing:
Help the Parent
§ Be available to talk
§ Listen
§ Observe
§ Give time
§ Ask permission before sharing appropriate information or advice
§ Give reassurance of your love and availability
§ Encourage open communication
§ Establish a trusting relationship with the single parent families. Open your heart and home providing hospitality for the single parent family on a regular basis
§ Phone the single parent daily (reassurances that the single parent is not alone)
§ Provide child care to give the single parent a well-earned break
§ Mobilize the church to care for home repairs, transportation, meals, counseling, etc.
Help the Child
§ Develop trust
§ Spend quality time with each child
§ Become an "adopted" aunt, uncle or grandparent
§ Give reassurance that the divorce/death is not child(ren)'s fault
§ Help equip child(ren) to deal with conflict and stress
§ Help the child(ren) grieve (give them permission)
§ Provide recreational opportunities for the children
